On Mockery

Disciple Tebow,

For awhile, I found the idolatry of you to be cute. You were just a stupid farm boy that had yet to realize that it was time to step out of the bubble you grew up in. At some point, I figured, everyone wants to join the real world. Apparently, I was wrong and that’s my ignorance. But your ignorance involve politics, blind dogma, mockery, and apathy.

Every year, people jump on a college athlete who is the next [fill in Hall of Fame athlete], and they cover it until that player gets exposed by the reality of the NFL. It is a cycle that I would expect guys as smart as Mel Kiper to break, but ESPN has money to make and

Kiper at the 2009 NFL Draft.

Because any excuse for a picture of Mel Kiper's greasy mug is a good one. (via Wikipedia)

promotion is a 24-7 business. You were a great college player, even I won’t take that away from you. But now this cute ignorant farm boy demeanor has the ability to influence people.

Your rise and fall has been documented, yet the Tebow Trance continues. Your idolatry is not like the others, because people should know better by now. Plus, because of your actions the last two years, your Tebow Trance transcends sports.

Frankly, it’s time that someone calls out your bullshit.

When, in your first start of 2011, you produce a comeback never seen before in NFL history, and you bow to pray to your God — implying that your God created the outcome of the game — it is offensive and mocking. It is mocking to those of us who believe in reality, skill, cause and effect, free will, and the ability to create your own success. It is mocking to those of us who find Santa Claus more real than fate.

When we turn around and mock you — by Tebowing — you and your defenders cannot play victim. You and your kind sit in judgement of everyone. Everyone. All the time.

You judge gays.

You judge women.

You judge women who want to work.

You judge scientific theory.

You judge proven scientific methods.

You judge other people’s religion.

You judge anyone who disagrees with anything you believe.

At every turn, every hour, at every opportunity, you find an opportunity to condescendingly tell the rest of us why your ignorant and unproven view of the Universe* is the only option.

Then, when we play the role of a mirror, and dish it right back at you, the only reaction you have to cry foul and whine like a child. Because you have learned no other way to interact with adults, or defend your beliefs, you simply run back to the cave that you know.

As if that wasn’t enough, because it really is, we have so much more.

When you start to promote missionary work, you have went past your level of knowledge and understand. Now, you are fair game. Until I get the chance to pretend that I can just run onto an NFL field and throw a pass, you shouldn’t pretend that you have a clue about the world, or anything in it. Keep your ignorant opinions away from those of us that actually work on real-life issues and have studied public policy and social structures.

I realize that your naivete compels you to believe that anything that promotes Christianity must be good for the entire world. But the reality of it is this: When you invade a country and indoctrinate them with your fairy tales and then offer them…

…health care, medicine

…books, education

…food, money

…and then ask them to convert so they can be saved by Jesus Christ, you are no different, no different, than a used-car salesman – a bait-and-switch swindler. The defense of your religion is a joke, that conversion is not necessary, we are here to serve them. It is nothing more than a drug deal. You go to an impoverished country with medicine and they would invade the neighboring country for you.

As if that wasn’t enough, because it is, I have a few more points for you.

When you appear in a Super Bowl ad promoting your life story as a reason to be anti-abortion or pro-choice or whatever shallow labels we want to put on this issue now, you have now entered into a level of personal offense and ignorance that I have seen in very few people in my 30 years on this Earth*. Ironically, or not at all ironic, everyone I have ever met that falls into this category also seems to have only read and understood one book in their life.

Now, listen to me and listen to me so very carefully: The story of what your mother went through with your pregnancy is actually inspiring. The fact that you were expected to be stillborn and are now playing in the NFL is humbling. As a father who is still reeling from the other path that your family could have experienced, I am one of the few who can actually comprehend the decision of your parents – one of the very, very few. From that experience, if there was anything I learned from such an emotional and raw experience, it was one rule:

I cannot judge the decision of another human being in that kind of situation.

If you had the life-experience to understand or to feel empathy for others, you would realize this. Instead, you have learned the mountaintop pedestal mentality of “If-I-Did-It-Then-Everyone-Else-Has-To-Do-It”. When you say “I just want to be the best person-slash-quarterback I can be,” some people will see that as inspirational and Christian; the rest of us just see it as ignorance turning to arrogance – the natural progression of your disease.

I wish I could tell you that you have what’s coming to you. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t work how you wish it did. Good people do not get all the good things and bad people do not get all the bad things. I know this from personal experience. If it did, I would get such personal joy watching your NFL career deteriorate and watch your personal life ravel out of control like a bad Karadashian reality show. But I know how the world works.

On the bright side, at least I’ll be able to watch you have a shitty NFL career.


Secular America



*And, by ‘Universe’ or ‘Earth’, I, of course, mean thi flat 4000-year-old rock that was created in seven days.
Not, of course, the ever-expanding Universe of galaxies and galaxies of stars proven by science
…and anyone with a telescope.

About Creed

I often ramble. What some people can eloquently say in 10 words, when most people would take 25, I will intentionally take 100. It's always been this way. This blog is mainly to spare my friends, family, and co-workers from my epic long rants.
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