I’ve been preparing for fatherhood by combating the biggest problem with families today.
Not gay marriage.
Or sex education in schools.
No, the biggest problem with family values today, is the lack of parents willing to actually raise their children. And by raise their children, I mean to get off their ass and do their job and instilling skills, discipline, values, and respect in their brains.
This does not include buying them laptops. Or video game systems. Or whatever bell and whistle they want. The job of parenting is not to make their lives a wonderland paradise. The response from parents to my complaint is always the same: (some variation of) I’ll call you when you’re knee-deep in shit with a kid 60 minutes into a temper-tantrum.
My response (on the inside, of course) is often: (some variation of) Well, I’ll call you when you’ve learned to actually value the blessing of being a parent and accepted the awesome responsibility of raising a human being.
I been reading a great book lately, written for current parents with unruly kids. However, it has many great techniques to consider and talk about with your expecting spouse. I could go into them one-by-one and rant about how ridiculous the actions of parents are on a daily basis. Instead, I want to talk about the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
My first thought is that this might not be real. I hope it is. I pray that it is. I pray that it is mainly because of the absurd question posted above the raw link of this video.
“Was this parent’s Facebook parenting too harsh?”
Are you fucking retarded? Listen to this guy’s rant. He clearly hasn’t been harsh enough in this brat’s first 15 years. Her life should have its own section on WhiteWhine.com. Yes, I’m sure that progressives that are scared of firearms would say that unloading a clip into your teenagers laptop might be extreme. However, if you listen to the video, he is dealing with an unruly and out-of-control girl. This video reminded me of my favorite tactic from the book, called “Shock-and-Awe”.
I’ll assume none of you need an explanation.
Here are some ways to know if you’re disciplining your kid enough and giving them way more than they ought to have:
If you find yourself saying, “I’m taking away your laptop until college”, you’ve clearly spoiled your kid.
If your child uses the term ‘cleaning lady’ to justify why she doesn’t nee to do chores, you’ve clearly spoiled your kid.
If your child believes they have any sort of privacy — online or otherwise — when living in your house, you’ve clearly spoiled your kid.
If your child believes payment is required for chores, you’ve clearly spoiled your kid.
If your child has never earned something they wanted through hard work, you’ve clearly spoiled your kid.
If your child does not hate you every single day, you’ve clearly spoiled your kid.
I get to talk like this because I did all of this shit. If Facebook had existed when I was a kid…holy shit, I don’t even know what I would’ve done. I likely would’ve done something worse than this girl. If I had $1 for every time my dad should’ve slapped the piss out of me, we both would be retired and fishing for marlin in the Florida Keys. However, I can say that my parents fully achieved their goal as parents. I recognize that everyone has different values and priorities. They wanted me to enjoy my childhood and feel safe, something that — unfortunately — is not a given in the richest country in the world, and I did. I have wonderful, life-lasting memories.
I also have no idea how to change a tire. Because when he tried to teach me, I pretty much showed him my sack and went back to some worthless activity that did nothing for me in adulthood. Rather than beat the living snot out of me, he decided to not spend his free time banging his head against my hard-headed skull. I can’t say I blame him. But you miss valuable bonding time and valuable needed life lessons. I would have rather been pissed then and have those things now. If you think your 12-year-old can make decisions for themselves, than you should write Congress and tell them to let kids vote, enter into contracts, and reasonably conduct all business that able-minded adults do.
You make decisions for them. Sometimes by force.
Now, for those that cannot recognize effective exaggeration, I am not saying that we should beat our kids. There are other tactics, very effective tactics to teach them that chores are not an option; that disrespecting adults is not an option; that living with a sense of entitlement is not an option.
Every minute of every day is a war and your kid is keeping a battle diary.
Every time they win, they’ve mark the line. When you threaten discipline and don’t follow through, they learn another tactic. When you buy them something to shut them up, just another strategy. They keep marking the line until you kick them in the head.
Today’s parenting style, if not about taking the easiest path, is about making sure your kids love you now — hearing that your the best parents of all the parents they know.
In my opinion, the legacy of a parent is not made while in adolescence. It is made long after you are dead and gone.