On Revival

Tomorrow the “Randy Moss Tour” begins.
My reverence to the his talent has been documented throughout numerous blog posts. He has undoubtedly the rawest talent I have ever seen in sports. Unfortunately, his career is battered with bruises, from his attitude to his dedication. His return attempts to solidify his legacy among the greats.

There are many teams that could use his talents. Reportedly, three teams have contacted him with interest and he has at least one schedule tryout with a unidentified team. Here is my rundown of teams that would most benefit from his sheer talent:

1. New England Patriots: This is likely not going to happen, but it is also the best fit. The perceived risks of bringing Moss on board disappear on the Belichick dynasty. There should be more of concern over Brady’s ability to close than Moss’ ability to commit.

2. Green Bay Packers: This is one team that is not mentioned…at all. Superstar free agents go to teams that are a few weaknesses away from being a contender, not a contender that flopped on top of a historic season. However, there is an argument to be made that Moss-to-Green Bay could be the most epic move in NFL history.
Their offense will likely stay intact. If they signed Moss, they would likely let Driver go — similar age, similar contract, totally different talent range. With the same offense, this team would go 16-0 — with their closest game being more than 14 points. Aaron Rodgers would throw for almost 75 touchdowns, with over 30 of them to Moss alone — both shattering the league record. This move would be so money that Packer stock would actually increase in value, a legal impossibility.

3. Washington Redskins: They are one of a few teams likely to trade to land the most exciting QB talent in this years’ NFL draft: RGIII. Anyone familiar with the field-stretching ability of Moss knows how dangerous of a duo these two could be together.

4. San Francisco 49ers: With a crushing defense and a balanced offense, Moss would open up their playbook so that their defense wouldn’t have to only allow 1 rushing touchdown all season to win games.

5. St. Louis Rams: Pairing up Moss with a guy like Bradford could have a surprising success. They would have to wait until after the draft to get value for their #2 draft pick.

6. Orleans Saints: Why not? Last year, Drew Brees had the greatest season ever seen by a QB. No one noticed this because everyone is focused on win-loss record for a QB. Brees broke two of the most impressive records for the position, so Moss’ talent would fit in perfectly. The Saints don’t need him so this won’t happen either, but damn would it be fun to watch.

7. Minnesota Vikings: Well, third times a charm, right? As a homer, I love this idea. And as an idea, it works in my head — and only in my head. Anything that would work on paper for this franchise will fall apart in reality. As a sci-fi fantasy fan, I am convinced that there is another reality where the Vikings have won 5 Super Bowls because what should have happened, happened. Besides, Ponder is a bust and they need to figure that out ASAP.
(On a sidenote, homers everywhere should note my use of the word “they” — grow out of your delusion, fans.)

8. New York Jets: This is the most likely scenario, but is also the worst possible fit for success. First, Rex Ryan is the most overrated blowhard in coaching. Second, Mark Sanchez is the most overrated QB in the NFL. The only reason this fits is because it could light a vengeful fire underneath Moss.

Other media outlets have speculated over the Chicago Bears, Baltimore Ravens,
These teams all lack a true WR1, which is not the role that Moss should fill at 35. A team  with a weak overall receiving core but with one prosperous WR talent will benefit most from adding Moss. Even the Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers, and the Dallas Cowboys have been mentioned.
Couple all this buzz with the knowledge that he is willing to sign a non-guaranteed contract at around the veteran minimum and he will play in 2012. I also know that wherever he lands will be the jersey I will don in 2012 (until the Vikings build an (open air) stadium, draft a franchise quarterback, and build a competent defense — so…never).

There is only one possibility that force me to sever ties with my all-time, all-time favorite: There have been rumors that John Elway might be interested in bringing Moss to Denver. Just the thought of watching Randy Moss try to catch quacked throws from Tim Tebow is enough to make me abort my last meal from my stomach. I tweeted last week that Taylor Swift is dead to me…and I love her music. I hope Randy’s career doesn’t die on the cross of Tim Tebow.

About Creed

I often ramble. What some people can eloquently say in 10 words, when most people would take 25, I will intentionally take 100. It's always been this way. This blog is mainly to spare my friends, family, and co-workers from my epic long rants.
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